This was just posted on Tommy Z's blog. We are happy for him, but sad
for the sport.

Semblance of Control

I'm tired of having my destiny in someone else's hands. But today is a
different day. Today is the day I take back the reins. However, today
is not yesterday...yesterday was the day I was to cut all ties
completely. Today, I have a slightly cooler head but the idea is the
same. You can thank Rebecca for this 'resignation' letter not going
out yesterday:

“Done.
I officially received a 2 year sanction notification from USADA today.
No big surprise, right? I alluded to this weeks ago. But my reaction
is a surprise. Call it the straw that broke the camel's back â€" I
don't know. Whatever the trigger, I've decided to walk away from the
sport. I haven't talked to the friends and family or anyone else about
this. Call it a rash decision if you like, but I'll try to explain my
reasoning so that you can understand where I'm coming from.
I've been watching the Olympics these last few days and it has been
really inspiring for me. For the first time, I can see myself standing
on the podium, bowing my head to receive my medal. This is a
breakthrough for me. It helped me affirm to myself that I need to come
back from this ordeal and rise to the top and accomplish greater
things in the sport of cycling. Today, I started asking “Why?”. Why
do I 'need' to come back? Well, because I've felt this burning in my
gut these last two weeks, propelling me to work harder and become
faster than I ever have before. Okay, but that doesn't answer the
question, I can do that without racing. Maybe it's because I've grown
accustomed to the cycling spotlight and people looking up to me. Maybe
it's because I want to show all these doubters just how strong I am.
Maybe it's because I want to continue to live the 'pro' lifestyle. I
think we're getting to the crux of the reason for a comeback now. But
what am I truly after in this life? Asking myself this question today
the answer was “to be extraordinary”. I want nothing to do with
mediocrity. But on top of that (and what I've lost sight of in the
last few years), I want to improve the world. Yes, I am a naïve, 30-
something dreamer, but I want to help save the world. And I always
said that I would use cycling to amass influence and monies and then
put myself to good use in helping my causes of choice (like a certain
Texan who is a Saint in the cancer community). But the reality is,
cycling and racing so consume me that I have little time or energy for
anything beyond myself. My first year out of college, I made $28k
working at a chemistry lab in Boulder. During that year, I managed to
work 40 hrs/week, train between 70-100 miles/week running (which led
to a 2:31:40 marathon), buy a new car for my mom, and give around
$1000 to various charities. A few years later, when I decided to put
everything I had into becoming a pro cyclist, I worked around 25 hrs/
week delivering pizzas, trained around 20 hrs/week cycling, and
volunteered at the homeless shelter twice a week because I was barely
making ends meet and couldn't donate money. For comparison, last year
I made more money than I ever have in my life, had no other job than
racing my bike 70 or so times during the year, and still only gave
maybe $300 to charities over the course of the year and sometimes went
months between contacting the teenage boy whom I'm mentoring. What's
extraordinary in that? What's more extraordinary â€" if Greg Mortenson
would have made it to the summit of K2 or if Greg Mortenson failed to
summit K2 and instead dedicated his life tobuilding hundreds of
schools in Pakistan and Afghanistan? I'd say the latter. What's more
extraordinary â€" Eric Heiden the amazing skater and cyclist or Eric
Heiden the amazing surgeon? How about Davis Phinney the cyclist or
Davis Phinney the Parkinson's crusader? I've come to the realization
that I would rather be a David Benke than a Cancellara. I would rather
help the boy I'm mentoring graduate from college and break the cycle
of poverty in his family than win a Pro Tour TT. To me, the life I'm
choosing from this day on is more challenging and potentially
rewarding than the life of training to ride in a straight line really
fast for 40 minutes. For whatever reason, I haven't been able to do
both so it's time to step back and re-prioritize.
And no, I would never have come to this decision without this positive
doping test fiasco. So, maybe there's the good out of this situation.
Am I giving up? In a way, I'd say I was giving up on my dream while
being a pro cyclist. I was so self-absorbed that I did little good
with life beyond my self.
And so that's that. It's been fun. I'm taking so many wonderful
memories and relationships from the last 6 years with me. And now that
I'm done with all of this, I want you to hear the truth once and for
all. Come in close so I can whisper.....I didn't dope.”

Today, I laid all my cards on the table for USADA. I told them
everything that I know about the positive test, meaning every possible
lead as to how it happened, and that I will cooperate in any way that
I can. As great as my lawyer has been for me, I told him that I needed
to do this on my own from now on. I have no intention of taking this
case to a hearing. Now that I've made the determination that I really
could and would walk away from the sport forever, it's liberating.
USADA, WADA, and the UCI no longer have power over me. But I will
continue to jump through a few hoops (if not too high nor on fire) in
order to leave the option open for a return in years to come (though I
sort of hope I have the courage to begin a completely new career and
never look back). I will continue to try and figure out how this
happened so that I know for my own sanity and so it won't happen to
someone else, but that is a separate issue. I'm ready to turn the page
and start living a better, more fulfilling life. Whether or not
bicycle racing is in that future is too foggy to tell. I hope you all
can understand why I've chosen this road. It feels so good to be out
of the holding pattern.
Okay, I gotta go. I have some jobs to apply for!
Posted by TomZ