Just as I finished up the previous blog, I just clicked onto a link with some heart breaking news.  True or not, the news is the type that doesn't go away quickly.  Our local cycling star, Tom Zirbel, had some irregular values turn up in a doping test. Tom has been let go by Garmin, and now awaits word on what his next step is in the world of cycling.

I have been following the pro cycling world for years and have clicked through so many doping allegation stories on the web pages, that I have lost track of them all.  If true, this one hurts.  It hurts for all those local cyclists who have cheered on Tom as he turned in the cycling version of rags to riches to a reality.  It hurts for everyone that has cheered him on as he succeeded on the national and world stage of cycling.  If the "B" sample comes up positive as well, the thought of what "could have been", will forever linger over us all.  

A poll found on a cycling news website.  Tom was listed on the poll.  I voted for him.

I don't want to sound like a little baby that has nothing invested, and claims to have such a personal stake in Tom's life.  I have only ever met him once, and it was such a slight crossing I'm sure he wouldn't have remembered.  My getting upset with this one, is more along the lines of, "Dammit, why did this have to happen?".  Again, I don't have to wake up tomorrow and try to figure out what I do next, like Tom will have to do.  

Luckily for Tom, he has a college degree in chemistry, and will be able to fall back on that.  [please understand that I am not pretending to be Tom's best friend, and claiming to know his life, or what he will do - I am making assumptions here, and you know what that means and how far that will get me]

When I told my wife about this, she asked why someone would do such a thing - taking a chance that on something when they knew they would get caught.  I'm not a pro rider, and I don't have the understanding of the pressures associated with being expected to perform athletically for my paycheck.  I tried to explain the situation in an analogy - a football analogy (not that she is a football fan, but it will work).

I said, imagine the hundreds of thousands of high school football players, playing each year, trying to get into college.  Imagine the thousands of college football players paying each year, and the hundreds of those that try to get into the NFL each year.  Every spring all those hundreds of players get together at training camp to "try out" for a spot on a team.  It doesn't matter if you have been in the league for 10 years and have gone to pro-bowls…  You have to fight for your job.  New, young studs coming in each year, trying to bump you.

The cycling world is just the same.  Actually, it might be more difficult as we're talking about a WORLD sport.  Cyclists from all over the world trying to get a spot on a team.  A national team, international team, and the cream of the crop, the Pro Tour.  A cyclist who doesn't perform will be replaced.  This has to be reason they dig into their travel suitcase, and pull out a bag of blood, or inject something into their butt cheek.  

A cyclist that is in fear of their contract not being renewed, or feeling like they need to bolster their resume to help get a larger contract is the possible reward waiting for the successful doper.  Floyd was getting ready for hip surgery the fall after the tour when he got busted.  He had the yellow jersey one day, and blew up on a climb and lost minutes the next stage.  He got together with some teammates that night and had a "drink", and the next day lit up the field, to take back the jersey, and eventually the TdF win.  What would cement a possible contract offer better than a TdF win?  The hip surgery would possibly be an afterthought for a new team, and the signing of the TdF Champion would be worth the chance.

Bernhard Kohl was having an off year in 2008.  He had some injuries, and his team Gerolsteiner was having sponsor issues.  Kohl went on to have the TdF of a lifetime - bolstering his stock with many teams.  Finishing first in the King of the Mountain category, (which was his speciality), then shocked the world by finishing third overall.  He was then found to have been taking CERA, a blood doping agent.  Kohl did fess up to the charges, and became the "tell-all" on doping in the pro peleton.

Doping isn't just for the "big names".  Yes, Lance has been dogged by these charges for over a decade - but it isn't all about the top level cyclists.  The supporting cast that helps the big names have to keep up with their captians.  Imagine if you are riding as a domestique for a possible Tour winner.  You are hired to help get them up the mountain or form the lead out train for the sprint finish.  It is your job.  Let's say you had an early season crash, or your fitness was a bit off.  You job depended on being able to perform and if you can't your options are tough.    You can, 1: stay clean and try harder - and if it doesn't work, you get dropped from the job.  You can, 2:  take the dope - perform as expected, and keep your job if you are not caught in doping control.  OR you can, 3: take the dope - perform as expected, and keep your job until you get caught, and THEN get dropped from the job.

So, what option looks good to you?  Take the chance?  Without it, you most likely may lose the job.  With it, you may possibly keep the job, but once caught, lose it.  Imagine, this is is the only world you know, your job, your house payment, your life.  What would you do to keep your job?

Now for the final disclaimers about this little rant.  I have simplified the situation greatly in this post, and tried to get to what I think the simple heart of the problem.  I know that not every doper does it to keep a job - that can at least understood.  There are some that just want to win.  Win a any cost.  I am using this as a self cleansing way of purging myself of the doping anger and questions I have.  Think of this as my little shredded wheat biscuit of fiber for my cycling colon.

I wish Tom, his family, his friends, his fans only the best - and the assurance that this blog and those associated with it, that we are behind him.   I hope that when all is said and done that innocence will prevail, and the truth will set whomever free.  Like I stated at the beginning, I have seen many doping allegations, but none have ever impacted me quite this way.  I just hope it gets sorted out, and Tom finds peace with the final decisions.  So Tom… stay on the bike, find the peace that drew you to this sport in the first place.  You got on a bike to fill the empty space left from another sport.  Stay on the bike, it will continue to fill any voids.  And good luck.