Last weekend the heathens of the Midwest and beyond descended upon the beautiful city of Iowa City to race their bicycles over the mud covered grounds of the Johnson Country Fairgrounds and the Reverend Billy Bigring was there, spreading the Gospel of The North Iowa Bicycle Underground. 

Central to the race in Iowa City is the venerable Mt. Krumpit.  When I excited the NIBU bus and looked upon this hill, I must admit, it was even a bit intimidating to myself dear parishioners.  But, I took a deep breath, held my copy of Going Rogue close to my chest and proceeded to spread The Word. 

Friday’s race went well, your very own Reverend Bigring could feel all of the great brothers and sisters of The Underground pushing him forth.  The race was slightly shorter than we’ve become accustomed to, riding in the Central Iowa Cross Series, but it felt much longer than its 35 minutes.  The course consisted of a decent amount of mud that was increasingly tough to pass and most required a lot of running.  Now, The Underground blessed the good Reverend Bigring with dashing good looks, charm, and sharp wit, but running isn’t something The Underground decided to bless me with.  It was tough going, but the good Reverend made it though to spread The Word in good time. 

I was awakened to another beautiful Underground created morning on Saturday.  The grass and trees and dirt were all painted with a beautiful white frost and as the sun began to show itself, and all of that frost turned to dampening grass, and then to more mud.  Your own Reverend Bigring took his place on the starting line, and while preaching to the men there about being Saved, and giving themselves up to The Underground, your Reverend Billy Bigring configured his bike into a tough gear, with hopes to beat these heathens to the first turn, and thus, the win.  But, The Underground didn’t see it that way and the rest of the race passed your own Reverend Bigring by before the first turn came, so the good Reverend decided the race would be best served by cruising around the course and spreading more of the Gospel of The Underground and good cheer to all who were there.  The Reverend finished the race in good spirits though, and was prepared to go tell it on the mountain.

And tell it the Reverend did. 

Quickly, the Reverend Billy Bigring set to work.  First, I was able to baptize a few heathens in the cleansing soils of The Underground.   As you can see, The Spirit of The Underground was within them and saved they became. 

It was then time to tell it on the mountain, and the good Reverend took it upon myself to ordain a few Deacons to the Church of The Underground, and they were then divinely decreed to carry The Great Elixir of the Underground to the mountaintop for the congregation at the summit. 

It was amazing brothers and sisters.  Racers ascended Mt. Krumpit and brothers and sisters offered them good cheer and blessings in the form of Pabst Blue Ribbon and sausage on their way up the muddy pilgrimage to the summit.  

Racers narrowly escaped the cold touch of Death on their way to the summit, but with the cheers of the great people of The Underground, they arrived safe and sound. 

It is with great sadness The Reverend must hang up his collar for the season, but rest assured brothers and sisters, The Reverend will return when racing begins again to spread The Gospel of The Underground to more heathens throughout the Midwest. 

As the cold descends upon us, we will still have the opportunity for congregation at the house of worship for the roller races very soon. 
Peace and bike-love be with you, brothers and sisters.