While Scoop is away documenting the fantastic new developments in hot pants at the Adult Emporium –err- Interbike, we here at NIBU Laboratories have been left with the work of putting together the jerseys for the men and women of the North Iowa Bicycle Underground to wear while tearing up the roadways and singletrack of life.  We were able to give birth to a pair of jerseys I think both of our readers will certainly like.  These jerseys were prepared by using DNA “borrowed” from the hair of Eddy Merckx which was procured during Scoop’s visit with Mr. Merckx while having him sign a poster at Interbike.  

Since NIBU does not actually have the technology as of yet to create another Eddy Merckx, NIBU does have the technology to create more of Eddy Merckx’s hair.  Now, using our Cannibal’s Hair Reproduction Technology, or CHRT, we were able to hire a group of dream weavers to weave the hair together to make dream jerseys.  

These jerseys, made solely of the hair of Eddy Merckx, are now complete.  Luckily for you, dear reader, I have taken the time from my usual work of creating socks made of Fausto Coppi’s hair, to document the jersey’s acclimation to society.  

First, here is a photo of the jerseys enjoying a bottle of Shiner Bock and some refried beans:  

Here, we have a shot of the jerseys with a tomato (the jerseys seem to really enjoy tomatoes), a book, and a sculpture of former Boston Bruins coach and Hockey Night in Canada host Don Cherry:  

The jerseys will make their debut at Capital City Cross this weekend and will be worn by Ben and Katie Fistler.  I’m sure they will serve the rider’s well on their battle for last place in their respective races.  Scoop will be there to document their debut, so stay tuned readers, both of you.  

If you would like a jersey of your own made from NIBU’s own CHRT technology, get in touch with Eric at splashmulti@me.com and he will contact the laboratory for you.  

-Dr. Funkenstein